[Tuesday, April 25, 2006]
Thoughts(1) - I love my teh-o
Recently I have been spending a lot of time with myself, both physical and mental time. I think about my future, think about friends, think about how the world works, think about what I should do.. basically thinking a lot. But sometimes I don’t get an answer, which is frustrating! And everyday, there just got to be something that will make feel happy and of course, sad and lousy too. I know, in some ways, like perhaps studies, I can never compete with others. By this, I have already lose access to a big world of the world. Everyday when I read the newspaper, there will be this financial analyst, or this management consultant(who is willing to give up this $100,000 annual pay if he gets elected as MP.. -_-” it’s not really big deal, MPs earn as much) who are earning big big bucks.. high class socialites who attend high class events to show off wealth and beauty..and articles on overachievers.. I don’t think I’ll ever be like them ever.. not that I don’t want to try, I just don give a damn about it you know. Some people are just high high above, have that elegance, while some will lead simple lives. I don’t think there is any wrong with it. Ceylon tea or whatever v.s. my teh-o in kopitiam.. same right? But the world thinks there is something wrong with it and the world is trying to tell me that and I don’t really want to accept it. I don’t really like the idea of living my life how people want me to live.
Going up the 39th of Standard Chartered Bank Building in Raffles Place you will get the International Chinese Bank. You will immediately get the idea that all the people there are important and rich people (which I was not, I was just simply there). Now, that’s something the world is going towards – wealth, prestige. Then going up the elevator was another thing. Like the sitting in the plane, there is pressure and your ears get blocked. That feeling was suffocating. Sort of helpless I guess. When I reached, the bank was just a normal office. Except it was very quiet and very cold in there. Nothing special. When I came out of the building, the feeling was like attaining freedom again? Haha. In movies working in banks looks so fun and cool.. (Firewall) and in Korean dramas, the son of top management is always very handsome (My Name is Kim Sam Soon, whoa! The male lead is kakkoii), and in Japanese dramas, it’s about robbing the banks and police(Bayside Shakedown and another show which I forgot the name). I guess the world is filled with illusions and what you want and what you like will never be the same when you exactly get to experience it. For now, I’m just like a little fish, swimming in the big ocean, trying to find a place that would suit me. I would like a place which the water is warmer, where the sun is shining brightly, where there are friendly fishes and organisms, and of course somewhere which everyone enjoys music.. Hope I can find it real soon =) it kinda sucks when you are without directions. I shall have faith.. One day.. one day, I will find it..
Speaking about swimming, there are 5 public swimming pools in the West!! Chervons, CDANS, CSC, BB Swimming Complex and JE Swimming Complex. So many for what?? Compensate cos West Coast cannot be even treated like a coast isit? Hah. Shall blog about my swimming next time. I’m talking too much. Time to think again. =)
-- 09:41
