[Saturday, April 29, 2006]
I really hate myself sometimes..
Ever since that incident I find it hard to trust people,
thinking that they are out to trick me, just for fun.
I hate the feeling, so I have been quite defensive of myself all these while.
of course it doesn't apply to my close friends,
but still,I don't actually say what I really feel sometimes.
I feel that I can't trust anyone..
I don't want to tell anyone my problems, don't want to share my inner feelings,
in fear of being a victim of my own emotions..
Again and again it has slipped away quietly because I couldn't give it my complete trust,
and it looks like it's going to happen again..
and all I can do is to laugh, and forget about it..
because.....
it's really really hard for me to trust any guy anymore..
一次又一次的拒絕不是因為感情的否絕,
而是因為害怕又一次流下不必要的眼淚.
-- 20:17
