[Sunday, November 21, 2004]
that's what friends are forr
thanks for always being there :)
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ok,it was yday noon. ____'s church had some stuff going on.and i told daphne tt i'm gg..but i forgot all about it and told my mum i'm going my cousin's house with her instead. but suddenly del called,then i was like,'oh shit'..i dunno what to do..so i ask my sis to pick up and say i was slping. ok cool. so i forgot about it and went on lazing..then came ____'s call. i vaguely rmb him telling pple tt he will celebrate my bday when he comes back from _____,cool huh?so i greeted him cheerfully, expecting him to say something nice in replacement for missing my bday. but,no,nothing of this sort. he asked me why nv pick up his fren's call, and said i lied..(ok i did yah)..and blah blah..i admit it is my fault for lying and forgetting..i'm sorry guys, but.. so much for the anticipation ok.
ok now, i shall explain why i don like going for church stuff, but i go becos it may turn out to be something good(i'm not just saying that church in particular ok,dun mistaken me)
1) i feel very uneasy whenever i'm with them. yeah,some pple in the cell grp were cool,but maybe becos i'm new,so kind of awkward. some acted friendly,jus wanting me to join them. feel like slapping them. seeing tt i not tt interested then diao me. c'mon, dun be so childish..
act friendly person: hey..new hairstyle..like different from your previous one(like DUH).. u cut it ah..(like DUH)..
me: yah..cut it..look prettier right??
act friendly person:(turns away)
me: ..."
erm..u guys know i'm like that right..asking the 'prettier' part..but the attitude was like, jus talking for the sake of talking.
2) keep wanting me to join even tho i dunno what's gg on. wait, i'm not saying tt it's bad,but at least explain to me lah! i rmb in my christian kindergarden sch days, there wasn't any persuasion to joining anything. jus pure faith in God. and so i prayed everyday, up to primary sch, even tho i was buddhist. i believed tt He could help me, and so i believed. i felt happy when i prayed. i feel happy to be with pple that prayed with me. teachers told me stories but Jesus and His sacrifice in sch, teaching us the right ways of doing things. but now, they throw some 'chim' terms to me and expect me to join immediately without knowing what is it about. i dun get the preaching, i dun get the terms, i dun get it. i guess the teachings in kindergarden was not so 'chim'..therefore i think they sld treat me as a non-christian and EXPLAIN. i need a reason..dun expect me to understand immediately, esp when my english is bad. i tried telling them,but no one bothered to explain. jus tell me 'join,join'.. i tried to believe in christianity again,(not that i'm totally agst the whole thing, i once believed in it ok.) but i really can't make myself to blindly believe when i dun understand a word of it. ok so the whole point is will someone plssss explain in simple terms, as a friend and not a follower of the church??? if someone say breakfast is healthy, got that vitamin got that vitamin..but if i am a person who doesn't know what is vitamins, jus tell me it's good, den wan me to join the breakfast club then i'll feel very funny.(sorry for the stupid analogy but morning quite hungry yah..and i was just trying to make my point..)
BUT the singing and guessing of ages were fun ;0)
3) this is an external reason, but when i go for them, i get unlucky. my shoes break, got scolded by mum..and whatever thing. but i dun believe in the unluckiness, just coincidence..sldn't blame it on them.
above concludes my reasons. no offence to christians, i hope. peace out.
-- 10:32
